Here are just a few little things that I have read, and that impacted me in some way. so I am throwing them out there for more eyes to see :)
What's mainly wrong with society today
is that too
many dirt roads have been paved.
There's not a problem in America today, crime,
drugs, education, divorce, delinquency that
wouldn't be remedied, if we just had more dirt Roads.
Because dirt roads give character.
People that live at the end of dirt roads learn
early on that life is a bumpy ride.
That it can jar you right down to your teeth
sometimes,
but it's worth it, if at the end is
home..
.a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog.
We wouldn't have near the trouble with our
educational system if our kids got their exercise
walking a dirt road with other kids, from whom
they learn how to get along.
There was less crime in our streets before they
were paved.
Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob
or rape,
if they knew they'd be welcomed by 5 barking
dogs
and a double barrel shotgun.
And there were no drive by shootings
.
Our values were better when our roads were worse!
People did not worship their cars more that their
kids,
and motorists were more courteous, they
didn't
tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in
front would
choke you with dust & bust your
windshield with rocks.
Dirt roads taught patience.
Dirt roads were environmentally friendly,
you
didn't hop in your car for a quart of milk
you
walked to the barn for your milk.
For your mail,
you walked to the mail box.
What if it rained and the dirt
road got washed
out? That was the best part,
then you stayed home and
had some family time,
roasted marshmallows and
popped popcorn and
pony rode on daddy's shoulders
and learned
how to make prettier quilts than anybody.
At the end of dirt roads, you soon learned that
bad
words tasted like soap.
Most paved roads lead to trouble,
dirt roads more
likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole.
At the end of a dirt road, the only time we even
locked our car was in August, because if we didn't
some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini.
At the end of a dirt road, there was always extra
springtime income,
from when the city dudes would get
stuck,
you'd have to hitch up a team and pull them out
usually
you got a dollar...always you got a new friend...
at the end of a dirt road! -Paul Harvey
Don't you wonder what would happen if we treated our Book of Mormon (bible) like we treat our cell phones?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we spent an hour or more using it every day?
What if we used it to receive messages from the "text"?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it in case of an emergency?
Oh, and a few more things-unlike our cell phones. One plan fits all.
Unlimited usage.
No roaming charges.
You always have reception.
No weak signals AND we don't ever have to worry about our Book or Mormon being disconnected, because our Savior already paid the bill.
-Author Unknown.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Silly String
The other night I was sitting at my desk in the room doing my homework while Addison was doing his at the kitchen table. I look over on the desk and to my pleasure see some silly string left over from new years and decided I would attack him. I grab one of the four cans and sneak into the kitchen and start spraying him. I thought I was pretty clever. I ran and jumped onto our coffee table, to have the height advantage of course. Well, he disappeared. I heard him unwrapping some of the silly string, which I expected. What I did not expect was for him to run at me with THREE cans and spray me until they were all gone. I don't know why I didn't expect it. When Addison decides to start something, he will finish with a victory, and he did. Our poor apartment was destroyed the pictures really don't do it justice. and the smell...it was bad, I couldn't breath while he was spraying me. It was fun to have a break from homework though, even if it was a few short minutes and my hair was tangled for days.
Tessa=0 Addison=1
Baby Time!
The week after I got home from our cruise my mom and I threw Kensi a baby shower. Ok, so it was mostly my mom, she is really great at throwing parties, and come to find out, it isn't one of my strong attributes. Despite me being one of the planners I think that the shower turned out pretty good. Kensi was able to see lots of friends and family. I loved seeing my sister. I am so blessed that I was given all of these sisters to be friends with. We are all weird, and really loud when we are together, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. Kensi and Brett will be such great parents. Kensi has always been so loving and kind to everybody and I do not doubt that her kids will be the most loved kids on earth. I can't wait to meet her little guy! Here she is at 38 weeks. How cute is she?!
Spring break 2012
My friend Alexis and I were sitting in class one day in January and I said, "hey Lex, let's go on a cruise." We started looking into it during class, not thinking that it would really be possible. I made a slideshow for my husband of all the reasons we should go on a cruise for spring break. It must have been pretty convincing because three days after I said that to Alexis, and made the slideshow, our trip was booked. :) I guess you could call it an impulse buy.
We set out on April 6th right after all of our finals to start our long drive (yes, we drove.) from Idaho to Texas. As I look back, it really didn't seem like such a long drive to me, the men always remind me it was because I did not drive at all. I like to think it was because we were having fun. I cannot tell you how many sketchy gas stations we stopped at. That was our word for the trip "Sketch." We had a lot of...well...interesting experiences on the road. I wouldn't trade them for anything!
I was so lucky to be able to stop at my sister's house on the way to Galveston and the way back. I had not seen her in over a year, although we could only stop for about an hour each way, It was so fun to see her and love on her little kiddos. They have all grown up so much, and I got to meet my newest neice, Sawyer.
Addison and I with the kids
Us with Brittanie and Nathan, I sure do love them.
Sawyer and I.
Just because she is cute.
After we left Britt's house we went down to Houston to have dinner and stay the night with some of the families that Bart served while on his mission. First we went to some members house and had dinner, they were such a cute couple and so inviting to let us into their home. After we had dinner we took a quick trip to the Houston temple, It was so beautiful. Then we went to another members home to sleep and woke up the next day to finish our trip to Galveston. I'm not going to lie, I am convinced to be a Texan. I loved driving through it, who knew it was so green and beautiful?
At last, we arrived to our ship, the Mariner of the Seas. We checked on and right away went to...eat. It wouldn't be dramatic of me to say that I ate close to 100 burgers that week. yum. The first two days we were at sea. We pretty much just laid in the Sun, swam, ate, repeat. It was fantastic.
The first day on land we went to Roatan, Honduras. It is my new favorite place on earth. The beaches had white sand, and the water was so clear. When we first got off the boat all of the vendors were stalking us, we finally picked somebody to take us to the beach. The drive there was "sketch" I don't know how we are still living. There apparently are not enforced road laws on the beautiful island of Roatan, or anywhere else we went for that matter. We came pretty close to head on collisions more than once. anyways, the driver took us to the beach. We weren't sure what to do when we got there so we played in the water for a little bit. Addison and I then took a walk farther down the beach. When we got in the water all of these fish started to swim in between us and just hung around. I think they really liked Addison's swim shorts.
We walked back to Alexis and Bart, and all of us decided to rent some snorkeling gear. BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE. It was a surreal experience to swim in such clear water and see such beautiful rainbow looking fish and coral. It may sound like I am playing it up, I promise I am not. If you don't believe me, go, in fact, I will go again with you. I told Addison that someday we will be hippies and retire on that island. He didn't fight it.
We decided it was time to grab some grub and walked into...town?...and found a little place that looked like it had some decent cuisine :). when we were seated the waiter handed Addison this parrot, and I think those two fell in love at first sight.
Of course we had to all pass it around and hold it...For some reason it thought Alexis' hair was a real treat..
Once our yummy lunch was downed we headed back to the beach to swim and play a little bit more. The day came to an end and we took another life threatening ride back to our ship to sail on to day 2.
The Second day we found ourselves in Belize city, Belize. I'm not going to lie, I don't have the best taste in my mouth when it comes to our experience Belize, I am not sure why because when I look back at it..we had a lot of fun. However the day started off extremely "sketch." Addison and I could not find Bart and Alexis on the ship so finally we decided we would start our day without them, bad choice. When we got on land we expected to be taken to a beautiful beach, just like we had in Roatan. So we immediately got in a van with this guy, that claimed he was going to give us a tour and bring us to a beach...wrong-O. He did give us a tour, however I am pretty positive that he made up a good 99% of it. He then said that he was taking us to the beach. We drove clear out of town, probably 20 minutes, and pull up to this little shack looking thing. We walk out to this dock where a lady is sitting and he then explains that this is where all of the tourists come to spend their day and we were just lucky enough to be the first people there...we look to the right and see this pool made out of sand and a slide that looked like it had not operated in a billion years. Personally I think it would be a great place to film a scary movie. Yes, I sound very ethnocentric right now, and like a greedy American, but...it just kind of shocked us. To boot, the lady was wanting us to give her $40 to swim in it. We asked if there was a different beach close by and he said that the one by the pool was swarming with jelly fish...awesome, so we kindly asked him to take us back to the ship...I am sure I did not word or draw it out very well but it was extremely "sketch." Right when we got back we ran into Alexis and Bart and we bought an excursion to go cave tubing. We drove out to get our headlamps, water shoes, tubes, etc. We hiked through a rainforest, which was really pretty. We finally got to the spot where we would get in to start our cave tubing adventure. The water was just as blue as Roatan :)
Cave tubing was fun, I am glad we did that instead of succumbed to the pool of dreams...There were really shallow parts and the guide would say, "butts up." In the cave there were crystal looking rocks inside of the caves that you could see if you shined the light on them. It was a really cool experience. On the drive back we were all pretty tired so we went straight back to the ship after tubing.
The third and last day on land we went to Cozumel, Mexico. The first part of the day we mostly just walked around and went shopping in the little shops. Bart and Alexis wanted to collect sand at each of the ports and so we walked into this one shop and they saw this tequila bottle that they thought was awesome so they decided to buy it and dump the tequila out so they could put sand in it. Funny story, the security wouldn't allow them to take the sand onto the ship when they were checking back on to the boat. Here they are buying their first tequila.
We bought an excursion in Cozumel to swim and feed sting rays. First they gave us each two fish that we held in our hands and put it under water. The rays would come and bump your hand and then you would release the fish. Some of the Rays were huge! They would bump against your legs and almost knock you over. after we all fed and pet, held, kissed, etc the rays we went into a deeper tank to snorkel with them. It was a lot of fun, and I am so glad that we did it!
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Once we were done with our sting ray encounter we still had a little time to walk around and look at more shops. It was sad to leave Cozumel because we knew our cruise was almost over.
On my last cruise a lady set an iguana on my head (it pooped on me) so I figure that taking pictures with iguanas are a new tradition so I gave it another attempt...this one bit my lip. I mean literally had my bottom lip inside of its mouth. I was a little hesitant after that.
The ship had a lot of activities that the passengers could do. There was an ice rink, rock climbing, miniature golf, ping pong, a basketball court, and I am sure I am missing a few things, we had a great time on board.
Every single night we had the same waiter, Aimen. He became our friend, and i'm not going to lie when I say that sometimes I miss him haha. We were probably 4 out of 20 people on the ship that did not drink alcohol, and all of the waiters in that area knew it. So on the second night, Aimen brought us chocolate milk. He continued to do so until the very last night. He was good to us.
The last day we pulled up to Galveston, and got off the ship. All of us headed to one of Bart's old wards. It was good that we were able to stop at a place with a sink because Bart brought boiled eggs on the way there for Easter. They were not eaten and somehow forgotten in the cooler, that was in the trunk of the car, in the blistering heat, for an entire week... hahaha. We had such a great time on our cruise, and we look forward to doing it again. We made a lot of memories that will never be forgotten. I am a believer that cruises are definitely one of the better ways to travel. :)
Monday, February 6, 2012
I am actually going to do it!
First of all. I am lame for not doing any posts about Thanksgiving and Christmas! And quite frankly I don't have the energy to do it either :) All I will say about that is Addison and I loved being able to spend time with our families and we are extremely blessed to have both the Petersons and Kivetts in our lives.
Now back to this post:(be warned: There will be plenty of venting and thinking out loud here.)
I am actually going to do it. That's right. What am I talking about you ask? That would be the cliche "going to get healthy" thing everyone talks about at the beginning of every year.
venting begins here--The odd thing is, I wasn't really planning on having this goal. In fact I get tired of seeing weight-loss commercials and "foods/pills that zap the fat away!" posters. It is annoying to hear beautiful women talk about how fat they think they are and how they wish they could be skinny (even if they have absolutely nothing to lose). For some reason people think that the size of their body determines who they are and how valuable they are to this world. Well here is a reality check---the world's definition of skinny is gross and nearly impossible to obtain unless one would like to develop a nasty case of anorexia nervosa, bulimia, depression, anxiety and many other physical and mental ilness' that accompany trying to be something that is impossible to reach. I hope to be a mother that shows by example that who I am and who my children are is not who the world tells us to be but that the value of my children is already defined by someone much greater than the world. In fact, the creator of it himself. If he loves and knows who we are, which I know for a fact that he does, why is it so important to wear a size 0 pair of jeans? It isn't, thank goodness! (end of venting)
So, why have I set this goal for myself? Because there is a difference in trying to live a healthy lifestyle for myself and for my future, then simply trying to have a sexy body for pride reasons.
Nope, it won't be easy. I love me some ice cream, and chocolate. Here is a secret: I am an emotional eater. If I am sad, angry, mad, all I need is a tub of my best friends Ben and Jerry in my life and all is swell! So how am I doing so far? I have not had one bite of ice cream all year. Which really might not sound like that big of a deal to some, but I feel rather accomplished :)
(thinking out loud) In the past I have hated trying to lose weight or dieting for multiple reasons. I hate when my stomach is growling at me and I feel weak. Then I just give in and eat the first thing that comes up which usually isn't something that my body will thank me for later. Going to the gym....blah. I played sports my entire life, so when I go to run or do anything physical I feel like my body should move and have the endurance it once had. Nope, WRONG! I huff and puff and my body is ready to be done after a lap. Plus, when you feel like you busted your butt at the stupid place you want to see some immediate results right? Instead I feel like my belly is poking out way farther then it was before I went. Out of spite I invite Ben and Jerry over again and we rendezvous for a while...Then the next day I am determined to do better, but somehow am talked into a brownie and mess up again. Then that whole day I feel like because I messed up once I can mess up all day long because I wasn't perfect for the entire day. Oh the way the mind works.
Anyways, here are some things that I have been loving and have found helpful for me.
First some apps
The first app is where I log my foods eaten for the day and the exercise that I have done. Mostly it just keeps me aware of how many calories I have eaten and what I am really putting into my body daily.
The second one will use GPS to tell you how far you have gone and the actual street routes that have been taken. It gives the calories burned and time gone by as well. I have found it pretty useful and am super excited to use it in the summer when running outside seems far more inviting.
I have been having some pretty serious love affairs with food as well...
first off..quinoa. It is a grain that is packed with protein, folic acid, magnesium, and several other vitamins. I have only made a few things with it, but am so excited to start adding it to a lot of my recipes. It doesn't have a ton of flavor, so it can be added without being noticed to recipes that need a little pick me up. or it can be used as a main ingredient. I am usually a person that can eat and eat and not get full, my husband will back me up on that. Today I was snacking on this really yummy quinoa salad (a big thanks to Brittanie) though and got stuffed after a few bites. literally stuffed! Finally no more of this eating healthy feeling like I am actually starving myself business. Plus it is really easy to cook and save. On a side note, I think it looks really cute and pretty after it is cooked :)
Next: Morning Star Chik'n nuggets. They are just what they sound like. Well sort of. They are actually soy. I am not much of a meat person to start off with. When I bite into something and see blood, or a bunch of fat, my interest in the said product is lost. so these are perfect for me because they are delicious and I don't have to worry about running into any questionables. Now I know that some of you are judging right now, but they taste like the real deal people. Plus they have 40% less fat than real chicken nuggets (and the fat that they do have is the fat that you want in your diet) and only 190 calories per serving, as you can see from the picture. All I am saying is, they are delicious and I could eat them all the times.
Last but not least: Franks Buffalo sauce. There really is no significance to this item. Just that I love it. I have had a buffalo obsession lately and want to eat it with everything. So this mixed with the chicken nuggets really hits the spot for me. Plus there are no calories or fat in it so I don't feel super guilty eating it.
That's about it on the nutrition side of things. Wish me luck :)
Lastly, and completely off topic, I was able to see my sister Kensi for a few hours this last weekend. Most importantly though, I felt her little buddy move inside of her! There is nothing more amazing than feeling a little body move inside of someone that you love so much. I can't wait to love on him in person. He is lucky to have Kensi and Brett as his parents. Also...Introducing miss. Sawyer Grace. I can't wait to love on her and squeeze her cute little chubby body. I am a proud aunt.
Have a great week!
Now back to this post:(be warned: There will be plenty of venting and thinking out loud here.)
I am actually going to do it. That's right. What am I talking about you ask? That would be the cliche "going to get healthy" thing everyone talks about at the beginning of every year.
venting begins here--The odd thing is, I wasn't really planning on having this goal. In fact I get tired of seeing weight-loss commercials and "foods/pills that zap the fat away!" posters. It is annoying to hear beautiful women talk about how fat they think they are and how they wish they could be skinny (even if they have absolutely nothing to lose). For some reason people think that the size of their body determines who they are and how valuable they are to this world. Well here is a reality check---the world's definition of skinny is gross and nearly impossible to obtain unless one would like to develop a nasty case of anorexia nervosa, bulimia, depression, anxiety and many other physical and mental ilness' that accompany trying to be something that is impossible to reach. I hope to be a mother that shows by example that who I am and who my children are is not who the world tells us to be but that the value of my children is already defined by someone much greater than the world. In fact, the creator of it himself. If he loves and knows who we are, which I know for a fact that he does, why is it so important to wear a size 0 pair of jeans? It isn't, thank goodness! (end of venting)
So, why have I set this goal for myself? Because there is a difference in trying to live a healthy lifestyle for myself and for my future, then simply trying to have a sexy body for pride reasons.
Nope, it won't be easy. I love me some ice cream, and chocolate. Here is a secret: I am an emotional eater. If I am sad, angry, mad, all I need is a tub of my best friends Ben and Jerry in my life and all is swell! So how am I doing so far? I have not had one bite of ice cream all year. Which really might not sound like that big of a deal to some, but I feel rather accomplished :)
(thinking out loud) In the past I have hated trying to lose weight or dieting for multiple reasons. I hate when my stomach is growling at me and I feel weak. Then I just give in and eat the first thing that comes up which usually isn't something that my body will thank me for later. Going to the gym....blah. I played sports my entire life, so when I go to run or do anything physical I feel like my body should move and have the endurance it once had. Nope, WRONG! I huff and puff and my body is ready to be done after a lap. Plus, when you feel like you busted your butt at the stupid place you want to see some immediate results right? Instead I feel like my belly is poking out way farther then it was before I went. Out of spite I invite Ben and Jerry over again and we rendezvous for a while...Then the next day I am determined to do better, but somehow am talked into a brownie and mess up again. Then that whole day I feel like because I messed up once I can mess up all day long because I wasn't perfect for the entire day. Oh the way the mind works.
Anyways, here are some things that I have been loving and have found helpful for me.
First some apps
The first app is where I log my foods eaten for the day and the exercise that I have done. Mostly it just keeps me aware of how many calories I have eaten and what I am really putting into my body daily.
The second one will use GPS to tell you how far you have gone and the actual street routes that have been taken. It gives the calories burned and time gone by as well. I have found it pretty useful and am super excited to use it in the summer when running outside seems far more inviting.
I have been having some pretty serious love affairs with food as well...
first off..quinoa. It is a grain that is packed with protein, folic acid, magnesium, and several other vitamins. I have only made a few things with it, but am so excited to start adding it to a lot of my recipes. It doesn't have a ton of flavor, so it can be added without being noticed to recipes that need a little pick me up. or it can be used as a main ingredient. I am usually a person that can eat and eat and not get full, my husband will back me up on that. Today I was snacking on this really yummy quinoa salad (a big thanks to Brittanie) though and got stuffed after a few bites. literally stuffed! Finally no more of this eating healthy feeling like I am actually starving myself business. Plus it is really easy to cook and save. On a side note, I think it looks really cute and pretty after it is cooked :)
Next: Morning Star Chik'n nuggets. They are just what they sound like. Well sort of. They are actually soy. I am not much of a meat person to start off with. When I bite into something and see blood, or a bunch of fat, my interest in the said product is lost. so these are perfect for me because they are delicious and I don't have to worry about running into any questionables. Now I know that some of you are judging right now, but they taste like the real deal people. Plus they have 40% less fat than real chicken nuggets (and the fat that they do have is the fat that you want in your diet) and only 190 calories per serving, as you can see from the picture. All I am saying is, they are delicious and I could eat them all the times.
Last but not least: Franks Buffalo sauce. There really is no significance to this item. Just that I love it. I have had a buffalo obsession lately and want to eat it with everything. So this mixed with the chicken nuggets really hits the spot for me. Plus there are no calories or fat in it so I don't feel super guilty eating it.
That's about it on the nutrition side of things. Wish me luck :)
Lastly, and completely off topic, I was able to see my sister Kensi for a few hours this last weekend. Most importantly though, I felt her little buddy move inside of her! There is nothing more amazing than feeling a little body move inside of someone that you love so much. I can't wait to love on him in person. He is lucky to have Kensi and Brett as his parents. Also...Introducing miss. Sawyer Grace. I can't wait to love on her and squeeze her cute little chubby body. I am a proud aunt.
Have a great week!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
For Her
It has been 15 years since my mom passed away. Yet, not one day goes by that she fails to be in my life. I have never written about her or the role that she plays for me personally, so I have a feeling of excitement and a small fear of how to appropriately express myself. Yes, I was a little girl when she died and don't have as many clear memories of her as I wish I did, but she has been the number one biggest influence in my life. I will try to explain the power of this, and hopefully not completely fail. When I was younger and didn't understand or see things as I do now, I held a grudge against nature and the course of life. Now I look at death as a commencement, or a beginning of things as they should be. There is no reason to fear the inevitable. I used to look at the future and be sad that she would miss all the big events in my life. I had wished that she would have seen me play sports, and been to my graduation. I hated the idea that she would not be there for my wedding or be able to love on my babies. It was not until a few years ago that I realized how truly blessed I am that it is not the end, and that she is still 100% in my life. Her death has impacted my choices, thoughts, and desires as I am sure that it has my siblings as well. when someone dies that is close to you, I believe your mind is opened and you are able to think about things that previously did not matter. Heaven and the plan of happiness become a little more real. The choices I make today, are so that I can be with her tomorrow. When you think about life after death, and the things that become important then, it makes this life become a little more clear. I often think to myself, what work is my mom doing? Of course she is serving, she is teaching, and knowing how she was during this life, i'd like to bet she is laughing and making many new friends. For me, it puts this life into perspective. Why would I not be doing those things now? She may not be where I can see her but we can still work together. I can help her work be a little lighter, and feel closer to her as I am serving in the ways that I know she is. I am so grateful for the example that my mom was and continues to be for me today. The lessons that she has taught me are priceless. I will stop my personal writing because there are some other passages I would like to include. These are memories of my mom from my aunt, sister, and one of my mom's friends. I thought that these captured who my mom was and who she is today the best.
My Aunt Kim wrote:
Monica was my parents first child to be born…but also the first to die. She died on January 3rd, 1997 of lung cancer. She was 37 ½. Today she would be 50. She would probably do something crazy like run down the street in the rain (if there was any) rain, trip and fall, trash her leg (she did all this once) and then have a fit over the need for first aid.
Oldest of 4 girls and two boys. She was an energetic, full of spunk, kind of kid. To me she was the one with the boyfriends. The one that lived to be social. She loved to dance. She loved to sing. She loved the young women in her ward. But most of all…she loved her man and her children! She thought her kids were the only kids that were in the room. She would sew and sew and make all kinds of things for her babies. She loved to be crafty. She would make stuff to sell and make extra money for Christmas. She saved and saved so she could buy herself a ticket to see Phantom of the Opera. She would start to tell you a funny story-usually about Stan and before she would get to the end she would be laughing so hard you couldn’t understand what she was saying…but you would be laughing equally as hard because she had a way of getting you involved in the story. She would tell equally funny stories on herself as well. One thing is for sure, where ever she was, that is where the laughter was.
As an adult Monica had numerous friends. In fact everyone she met-she considered a friend, whether they were 20 or 82-age didn't matter. She didn't waste time on others shortcomings, life was to short for that, she just loved people and they loved her back. If you were her friend you were her friend for life. Her funeral was standing room only at the stake center. I think every person she had ever known from grade school on up, was there, people we had long forgotten but had somehow learned of her passing and wanted to be there because she had touched their life in some way.
I think of Monica often, but today I think of her especially. I wonder what she would think of her daughters? I wonder what she would think of her only son-Joseph? I wonder what she would think of her grandbabies? And then I know!!! She would be amazed at the beauty of her girls! She would be thrilled with their life choices. She would remind them they were daughters of God who loves them by how she felt about herself. She would be in awe. And Joseph-she would think...this is Stan in miniature. This kid is so funny and goofy and smart and so reminds me of why I married his dad!
But....we cannot just give a sentence in a paragraph to what she would think of her grandbabies!!! She would eat them alive! She would start talking in their voices-like she did when her kids were little people! She would be sewing them dresses, making them things for their rooms, she would be spending her summers with them-nothing stopped her from going on a road trip. She would load up whoever was going in the car that was functioning the best and off they would go.
Oh there are many stories of Monica, and really you can't post about someone and give them justice in just a few short paragraphs...but this I know. She was my older sister, my friend, my confidante, my favorite comedian, life of the party, my teacher by example. Thinking of her does not bring sadness, only the fondest of memories, I love her and I miss her!
Brittanie wrote:
*Does anyone remember the tan van? =) It was a beauty. We drove it up to Utah one summer and the ac broke. She spent the trip rubbing cold water on our arms and our legs. It's just a little memory but I love it. I don't know if it was on that same trip but one time as we were driving she saw wheat (I think) growing wild and we pulled over so that she could pick some to use in her wall decor. I always want to pull over and do cool spontaneous things but I never do! I need to be more like her.
* When my mom was pregnant with Joseph she went into the hospital a couple times at the end and they sent her home. Well - she really wanted to have him so we went on a walk one night and when we got to the corner she had an attack of IPC's as she called it. Involuntary poop contractions! She was walking around on her tippie toes in circles trying to hold it in and I about died because I was laughing so hard!
* My mom saw The God's Must Be Crazy 2 at the dollar theater over and over. She thought it was hilarious!
* When I turned 12 there was a special night at our church and all the parents got a turn to get up and talk about their daughter. She cried the whole time she talked about me.! I don't remember if she cried on my first day of kindergarten but I do know that she cried when she sent me off to girl's camp for my first time. Now I know why she was crying because I get like that when I talk/think about my kids!
* She could laugh with anyone. One time we were driving along and there were some teenage boys next to us. The kid driving stalled big time and my mom died laughing. The boys looked at her and started laughing and we were all laughing and then she waved at them and we all went our separate ways. She could make friends with anyone anywhere!
*Watching her line dance to Neal McCoy's GIVE ME THAT WINK and her saying how much she loved his tight cowboy jeans and boots.
* mopping the floor with her and Kelyn. This was on our hands and knees and we each picked a corner and met in the middle. I'm SO glad she taught me how to work!!!!
* One time I came home from school and said the word "freakin" and she had told me that if I said that again she would put soap in my mouth so I took off running and she started chasing me around and around and by the end we were both laughing so hard - it was the best.
* Coming home from school with my friend Renee and turning the corner in the kitchen to find her NAKED and leaning against the counter just chatting away on the phone. HAHA! Renee and I still laugh about that!
*She was always such a good sport and drove the UGLIEST cars. One time Kelyn and I were playing around the block and she drove up in her "new" white car and leaned her head out the window and asked if we wanted to go cruising with her. The funny thing is I think that she really was excited about this new car and it was so ugly-VERY LONG, VERY WIDE. One time we had to get out in the middle of the intersection and push it into a gas station. NICE!
* Her reaction to me starting my period. CLASSIC.
* If she ever got after me she would come in to talk to me later and apologize and help me understand why I had gotten in trouble.
* The way she loved dad. When I was a teenager she told me that she still got butterflies when he held her hand.
*Her whistle that could be heard 4 blocks away!
* The way she took care of me when I was sick. I had a bell that I could ring for her and she always held my hair back when I threw up. I wish I had taken better care of her when she was sick.
*Making Valentines Day cookies. We got to miss school the day before V-day to help make them. We always had stacks and stacks of heart-shaped cookies on the table and once we were done decorating them we would go around to people's houses and leave them on the doorstep and knock and run.
* Her teaching us girl's camp songs and singing in the car on all of our vacations.
and last but not least Lisa wrote:
I sure appreciate the opportunity to write down some feelings about Monica. She had a huge impact on my life, in the short time that I knew her. I met Monica the summer of 1993, when my husband and our young family moved here to Mesa from California. I was 27 years old. I could tell immediately that everyone loved her, and I wanted so bad to get to know her too, but was not outgoing enough to do anything about it. It was Monica that first introduced me to the phrase “Girls Night Out”. (I know how old fashioned that sounds, but my mom never went out with just girlfriends, so I was following the same pattern). In fact, the first time she called me and asked me to join her and some friends for a movie night, I told her I’d think about it, having no intention of going. It was my husband who talked me into going, knowing full well that it would be good for me to get out of the house for a few hours without the kids. My world began to open up for me at that time.
In February of 1994, I was called to be Young Women’s president of 16th ward, and I was feeling pretty inadequate and “unqualified”. When Stan, our new bishop-and Monica’s husband- asked me who I would like to have in there as the Laurel Advisor, I mentioned how I would LOVE to have Monica, but that I knew I probably wouldn’t get her because of Stan’s new calling. I was so grateful when he said, “I think we can make that work.” So began my friendship with Monica.
She was the light and laughter of young women’s! The girls were drawn to her naturally, and so was I. I can think of countless activities where we just laughed and laughed and laughed! One night, we had a video scavenger hunt, and we dropped the girls off at the library, and had to make a U-turn. Monica didn’t realize that I had the video camera running, and she began talking about the hotel up the street, where she and Stan had spent their wedding night. Although she didn’t go into any kind of detail, she started to make a few remarks about that night, when I told her to look over at me. When she looked over and saw the camera on her, she screamed like you wouldn’t believe, and we just laughed and laughed that she’d been caught on camera. I still have that video somewhere.
Another funny memory was when I got home from running an errand one night, and as I got to the front door, Monica walked out of my house. I was surprised to see her, because her big brown van wasn’t parked in front. “Guess what Lisa?! My van was just stolen a few minutes ago!!” She had come over to drop something off, and as she came inside to wait for me, she heard her van start up and drive away. I think she was shocked that someone would steal the van…she LOVED that van. Luckily for her (and maybe not for Stan, because I don’t think he liked it very much)- the van was found a day or so later in Chandler. She was SO happy to have it back.
Monica was known for calling people on their birthdays, and singing a very sultry Marilyn Monroe version of “Happy Birthday”. I had no idea she did this, until she sang to me on my birthday for the first time. I laughed and laughed and laughed. No present could ever beat her singing to me!
One of my fondest memories was taking the young women to Utah for a few days. She and I were both pregnant, I was pregnant with Jeri, she with Joseph. We were both due about the same time, and so we enjoyed having that in common. Here we were, two leaders, 7 months pregnant, taking a long road trip. It was on this trip that I saw Monica laugh so hard, that her veins were literally popping out of her neck, she was beat red, and she just couldn’t stop! It was one of the highlights of the trip, and I’m sure the girls still remember it.
Towards the end of our pregnancies, Monica talked me into taking Castor Oil. We finally agreed to both take it the same night, right after her baby shower. The next morning she called first thing, and we both shared our stories of how it was one of the most miserable nights of our lives! And of course, it didn’t send either one of us into labor. I finally had Jeri on June 27, 1995, our fourth child. I can still vividly remember laying in my bed several hours after she was born, and the door opened, and Monica’s head popped in. I was so happy to see her! She laughed as she told me how she couldn’t find any parking, so she parked in the “expectant mother” parking spot (the space where mom’s who are in labor can park), and just wobbled into the hospital, no questions asked. We had a great visit, and then 3 days later, she had Joseph. We joked how Jeri and Joseph were going to grow up and get married someday, and that we’d be the best in-laws!
I loved those next few weeks, when we would talk on the phone, and just complain about how our bodies would hurt. One day in particular, we both just complained and complained to each other, laughing, and sometimes not laughing about all the ailments our post partum bodies were going through. The next day, Monica came over with a little wooden sign she had made saying “No Whining”. I guess we’d both been complaining just a little too much! I still have that sign, and I think of her every time I look at it.
Two weeks after I had Jeri, I got Bells Palsy, which caused the left side of my face to go completely paralyzed. It was disfiguring for the next 6 months, and I instinctively became sort of a hermit that first month. I remember one day when the ward was going on a ward activity, ice blocking I think, and I just didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to see anyone yet. Monica called, and asked me to come over and hang out with her instead. So my family went on the activity, so did hers, and I went over and we spent the afternoon hanging out with our newborns. She understood how hard it was for me, and was so compassionate about it.
During the next few months several things happened that just put me under a lot of stress, and I shared these things with Monica. One day she called me, and said “Out of all the things that have been happening to you lately, all the stress…what is the one thing that would send you over the edge right now?” I answered, “If I found out I was pregnant”. Without skipping a beat, she said proudly “Bingo!” Monica was pregnant. We laughed, we cried…and we laughed some more.
I was so sad to learn the Kivetts would be moving to North Carolina soon after Hannah was born. We promised we’d stay in touch, and I cried the day they moved. It was then that I decided that we needed to get the Internet, so I could email her. But what only seemed like a few weeks later I got from Jeannie Reynolds, one of Monica’s best friends. I will never forget the pit in my stomach. “Monica has cancer”. I called our Bishop, Dave Shumway, and the word spread quickly. Our temple night was that night, and so her name was put on the rolls. That night in the temple, as I entered the Celestial Room, I sat down in a corner, away from anyone who would or could see me, and I wept for a very long time. I prayed harder than I had in a long time too, and in my heart, I knew she could beat this. I just knew it.
The next day, Monica called. I broke down again. I feel bad about that now, because here she was, the one with cancer, and she had to comfort ME over the phone. We spoke several times in the next few weeks, and one conversation in particular, really stood out to me. She spoke of her children, and of the deep love she had for them. She told me that she didn’t want to die, and that she wasn’t ready to go yet. She explained to me how no one would ever love her children the way she loves them. I agreed with her. She was ready to do whatever it took to live, so that she could raise her kids.
As she began her treatments, it seemed that they were successful, and I felt so much hope for her. Her lungs were clearing up, it seemed. But then Jeannie called, and broke the second bad news, that the cancer had gone into her brain. She only had a few months left. I was devastated. Jeannie came over that day, sat at my kitchen table with me, and we cried together. It was the first time I’d ever really felt any kind of connection with Jeannie. She expressed to me that afternoon, how Monica had brought us together as friends. Our friendship has grown tremendously throughout the years, and she is one of my dearest friends today.
When I learned that the Kivetts had decided to move back to Mesa, I was initially nervous to see Monica. I knew she’d lost her hair, and had lost weight. I didn’t know how I would react, and wanted so badly to act normal. Jeannie brought her over, and we just cried and hugged, and actually laughed. But I could see in her eyes, something different. Although she didn’t want to be, she was so afraid of what was ahead. She fiercely didn’t want to leave her family behind, and it was hard to see her so vulnerable.
I went to see her at her parent’s home several times, and I tried so hard to just have small talk, but it was a new experience for me, and Monica was still so comforting to me in a time when I should have been comforting her. We had many great conversations, and I was so impressed with her faith, as it continued to grow. She really taught me a lot about trusting Heavenly Father.
One day in late November, while I was visiting, Stan came in to the room, and Monica expressed to him how she had a strong need to get to the temple. She was so week at this point, though, that she couldn’t go alone. She would need assistance even walking. Stan wanted to take her, but he couldn’t that day, so I asked if I could take her. She was so relieved that she was going to be able to go back to “Her Temple” as she called it that day. Even as ill as she was, after we finished our session and came back into the dressing room, she looked in the mirror and just started to laugh. I asked her what she was laughing at. “Look at me, Lisa. I look like a nun!” Because she had lost her hair, she wore a white scarf, and with her temple clothes on, she actually did look like a nun, all dressed in white. It was a very fun and light moment. As often as I’d gone to the temple, it meant something entirely different to me that day, and although I KNEW Monica could beat this cancer, I guess in hindsight, I also knew deep down, that she would be on the other side of the veil very soon. It was one of the most spiritual experiences I’ve ever had in the temple, and one of the most difficult experiences. I wonder now, if she knew it then too.
A few weeks later, about a month before she died, Monica called me. “Lisa”, she said, “Remember that day, when I told you that I didn’t want to die, because no one would ever love my children the way I did?” I told her yes, that I remembered. Then she said something so profound. “Lisa, I was wrong. I have had the rare opportunity, of watching the people around me have to take care of my children, because I can’t. And as I’ve watched my family and friends rally around, and care for my children, and serve them, I’ve realized something. You serve those you love, and you love those you serve. Lisa, my children will be ok.” I knew she was speaking truth, and we cried again on the phone that day. I knew then, that Monica was going to die. And my heart broke.
The last time I saw her, was the Sunday before she died. I’d gone over to visit, and she was so sick. She could barely speak, and was on oxygen. It took all her energy to even speak. There were other people there, and I almost felt like I was invading on some very precious time left with her family. I don’t remember specifically what I said to her as I left, but it was something like “I’ll see you next week, ok?” Stan called about 2 days later, and asked if I could take a day the following week and help Monica bathe, and take care of her. He was going to have to go back to work, and felt terrible that he couldn’t be there to care for her. I was so honored that he would ask me, and was grateful for the opportunity to serve her. But Jeannie called me that following Friday, I believe it was, and told me that Monica was going. Jeannie asked me if I wanted to come and see her, but I declined. Not that I was afraid. Just the opposite…I wanted so bad to see Monica one more time, but my gut said I should let her be with those she was closest to, and so I stayed home that night. I was lying on the couch, just watching TV, but not really, when I felt this powerful feeling overcome me, and I began to cry uncontrollably. I was overwhelmed with grief. A short time later, Jeannie called to say she was gone. I already knew.
I loved Monica. So much. But I wasn’t the only one…she had so many friends, good friends, and each one of us felt so special to her. As I said, she really taught me some things about life. I looked forward to any conversation I’d had with her, any time she would come over…I was lifted up by her. Her funeral was one of the most beautiful ones I’d ever been to, and still…it is today. I remember that it was mentioned at her funeral, either by Darryl Reynolds or Stan, I can’t remember….that this woman, a stay-at-home mom, who didn’t hold any big callings in or out of the church….just a stay-at-home mom…had the chapel and Cultural Hall and Stage packed for her funeral. Everyone loved her…everyone. And I felt so special, and so honored to have been able to be one of her friends, even if it was for such a short time on this earth.
To this day, Jeannie Reynolds will call me on my birthday, Oct 27, and sing a Marilyn Monroe version of “Happy Birthday” to me, and then on Oct 28, Jeannie’s birthday, I will call and sing back to her the same rendition. I guess it’s our way of always remembering Monica. She is unforgettable.
Thanks mom for continuing to influence my life, and especially for helping me know what is truly important. :)
My Aunt Kim wrote:
Monica was my parents first child to be born…but also the first to die. She died on January 3rd, 1997 of lung cancer. She was 37 ½. Today she would be 50. She would probably do something crazy like run down the street in the rain (if there was any) rain, trip and fall, trash her leg (she did all this once) and then have a fit over the need for first aid.
Oldest of 4 girls and two boys. She was an energetic, full of spunk, kind of kid. To me she was the one with the boyfriends. The one that lived to be social. She loved to dance. She loved to sing. She loved the young women in her ward. But most of all…she loved her man and her children! She thought her kids were the only kids that were in the room. She would sew and sew and make all kinds of things for her babies. She loved to be crafty. She would make stuff to sell and make extra money for Christmas. She saved and saved so she could buy herself a ticket to see Phantom of the Opera. She would start to tell you a funny story-usually about Stan and before she would get to the end she would be laughing so hard you couldn’t understand what she was saying…but you would be laughing equally as hard because she had a way of getting you involved in the story. She would tell equally funny stories on herself as well. One thing is for sure, where ever she was, that is where the laughter was.
As an adult Monica had numerous friends. In fact everyone she met-she considered a friend, whether they were 20 or 82-age didn't matter. She didn't waste time on others shortcomings, life was to short for that, she just loved people and they loved her back. If you were her friend you were her friend for life. Her funeral was standing room only at the stake center. I think every person she had ever known from grade school on up, was there, people we had long forgotten but had somehow learned of her passing and wanted to be there because she had touched their life in some way.
I think of Monica often, but today I think of her especially. I wonder what she would think of her daughters? I wonder what she would think of her only son-Joseph? I wonder what she would think of her grandbabies? And then I know!!! She would be amazed at the beauty of her girls! She would be thrilled with their life choices. She would remind them they were daughters of God who loves them by how she felt about herself. She would be in awe. And Joseph-she would think...this is Stan in miniature. This kid is so funny and goofy and smart and so reminds me of why I married his dad!
But....we cannot just give a sentence in a paragraph to what she would think of her grandbabies!!! She would eat them alive! She would start talking in their voices-like she did when her kids were little people! She would be sewing them dresses, making them things for their rooms, she would be spending her summers with them-nothing stopped her from going on a road trip. She would load up whoever was going in the car that was functioning the best and off they would go.
Oh there are many stories of Monica, and really you can't post about someone and give them justice in just a few short paragraphs...but this I know. She was my older sister, my friend, my confidante, my favorite comedian, life of the party, my teacher by example. Thinking of her does not bring sadness, only the fondest of memories, I love her and I miss her!
Brittanie wrote:
*Does anyone remember the tan van? =) It was a beauty. We drove it up to Utah one summer and the ac broke. She spent the trip rubbing cold water on our arms and our legs. It's just a little memory but I love it. I don't know if it was on that same trip but one time as we were driving she saw wheat (I think) growing wild and we pulled over so that she could pick some to use in her wall decor. I always want to pull over and do cool spontaneous things but I never do! I need to be more like her.
* When my mom was pregnant with Joseph she went into the hospital a couple times at the end and they sent her home. Well - she really wanted to have him so we went on a walk one night and when we got to the corner she had an attack of IPC's as she called it. Involuntary poop contractions! She was walking around on her tippie toes in circles trying to hold it in and I about died because I was laughing so hard!
* My mom saw The God's Must Be Crazy 2 at the dollar theater over and over. She thought it was hilarious!
* When I turned 12 there was a special night at our church and all the parents got a turn to get up and talk about their daughter. She cried the whole time she talked about me.! I don't remember if she cried on my first day of kindergarten but I do know that she cried when she sent me off to girl's camp for my first time. Now I know why she was crying because I get like that when I talk/think about my kids!
* She could laugh with anyone. One time we were driving along and there were some teenage boys next to us. The kid driving stalled big time and my mom died laughing. The boys looked at her and started laughing and we were all laughing and then she waved at them and we all went our separate ways. She could make friends with anyone anywhere!
*Watching her line dance to Neal McCoy's GIVE ME THAT WINK and her saying how much she loved his tight cowboy jeans and boots.
* mopping the floor with her and Kelyn. This was on our hands and knees and we each picked a corner and met in the middle. I'm SO glad she taught me how to work!!!!
* One time I came home from school and said the word "freakin" and she had told me that if I said that again she would put soap in my mouth so I took off running and she started chasing me around and around and by the end we were both laughing so hard - it was the best.
* Coming home from school with my friend Renee and turning the corner in the kitchen to find her NAKED and leaning against the counter just chatting away on the phone. HAHA! Renee and I still laugh about that!
*She was always such a good sport and drove the UGLIEST cars. One time Kelyn and I were playing around the block and she drove up in her "new" white car and leaned her head out the window and asked if we wanted to go cruising with her. The funny thing is I think that she really was excited about this new car and it was so ugly-VERY LONG, VERY WIDE. One time we had to get out in the middle of the intersection and push it into a gas station. NICE!
* Her reaction to me starting my period. CLASSIC.
* If she ever got after me she would come in to talk to me later and apologize and help me understand why I had gotten in trouble.
* The way she loved dad. When I was a teenager she told me that she still got butterflies when he held her hand.
*Her whistle that could be heard 4 blocks away!
* The way she took care of me when I was sick. I had a bell that I could ring for her and she always held my hair back when I threw up. I wish I had taken better care of her when she was sick.
*Making Valentines Day cookies. We got to miss school the day before V-day to help make them. We always had stacks and stacks of heart-shaped cookies on the table and once we were done decorating them we would go around to people's houses and leave them on the doorstep and knock and run.
* Her teaching us girl's camp songs and singing in the car on all of our vacations.
and last but not least Lisa wrote:
I sure appreciate the opportunity to write down some feelings about Monica. She had a huge impact on my life, in the short time that I knew her. I met Monica the summer of 1993, when my husband and our young family moved here to Mesa from California. I was 27 years old. I could tell immediately that everyone loved her, and I wanted so bad to get to know her too, but was not outgoing enough to do anything about it. It was Monica that first introduced me to the phrase “Girls Night Out”. (I know how old fashioned that sounds, but my mom never went out with just girlfriends, so I was following the same pattern). In fact, the first time she called me and asked me to join her and some friends for a movie night, I told her I’d think about it, having no intention of going. It was my husband who talked me into going, knowing full well that it would be good for me to get out of the house for a few hours without the kids. My world began to open up for me at that time.
In February of 1994, I was called to be Young Women’s president of 16th ward, and I was feeling pretty inadequate and “unqualified”. When Stan, our new bishop-and Monica’s husband- asked me who I would like to have in there as the Laurel Advisor, I mentioned how I would LOVE to have Monica, but that I knew I probably wouldn’t get her because of Stan’s new calling. I was so grateful when he said, “I think we can make that work.” So began my friendship with Monica.
She was the light and laughter of young women’s! The girls were drawn to her naturally, and so was I. I can think of countless activities where we just laughed and laughed and laughed! One night, we had a video scavenger hunt, and we dropped the girls off at the library, and had to make a U-turn. Monica didn’t realize that I had the video camera running, and she began talking about the hotel up the street, where she and Stan had spent their wedding night. Although she didn’t go into any kind of detail, she started to make a few remarks about that night, when I told her to look over at me. When she looked over and saw the camera on her, she screamed like you wouldn’t believe, and we just laughed and laughed that she’d been caught on camera. I still have that video somewhere.
Another funny memory was when I got home from running an errand one night, and as I got to the front door, Monica walked out of my house. I was surprised to see her, because her big brown van wasn’t parked in front. “Guess what Lisa?! My van was just stolen a few minutes ago!!” She had come over to drop something off, and as she came inside to wait for me, she heard her van start up and drive away. I think she was shocked that someone would steal the van…she LOVED that van. Luckily for her (and maybe not for Stan, because I don’t think he liked it very much)- the van was found a day or so later in Chandler. She was SO happy to have it back.
Monica was known for calling people on their birthdays, and singing a very sultry Marilyn Monroe version of “Happy Birthday”. I had no idea she did this, until she sang to me on my birthday for the first time. I laughed and laughed and laughed. No present could ever beat her singing to me!
One of my fondest memories was taking the young women to Utah for a few days. She and I were both pregnant, I was pregnant with Jeri, she with Joseph. We were both due about the same time, and so we enjoyed having that in common. Here we were, two leaders, 7 months pregnant, taking a long road trip. It was on this trip that I saw Monica laugh so hard, that her veins were literally popping out of her neck, she was beat red, and she just couldn’t stop! It was one of the highlights of the trip, and I’m sure the girls still remember it.
Towards the end of our pregnancies, Monica talked me into taking Castor Oil. We finally agreed to both take it the same night, right after her baby shower. The next morning she called first thing, and we both shared our stories of how it was one of the most miserable nights of our lives! And of course, it didn’t send either one of us into labor. I finally had Jeri on June 27, 1995, our fourth child. I can still vividly remember laying in my bed several hours after she was born, and the door opened, and Monica’s head popped in. I was so happy to see her! She laughed as she told me how she couldn’t find any parking, so she parked in the “expectant mother” parking spot (the space where mom’s who are in labor can park), and just wobbled into the hospital, no questions asked. We had a great visit, and then 3 days later, she had Joseph. We joked how Jeri and Joseph were going to grow up and get married someday, and that we’d be the best in-laws!
I loved those next few weeks, when we would talk on the phone, and just complain about how our bodies would hurt. One day in particular, we both just complained and complained to each other, laughing, and sometimes not laughing about all the ailments our post partum bodies were going through. The next day, Monica came over with a little wooden sign she had made saying “No Whining”. I guess we’d both been complaining just a little too much! I still have that sign, and I think of her every time I look at it.
Two weeks after I had Jeri, I got Bells Palsy, which caused the left side of my face to go completely paralyzed. It was disfiguring for the next 6 months, and I instinctively became sort of a hermit that first month. I remember one day when the ward was going on a ward activity, ice blocking I think, and I just didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to see anyone yet. Monica called, and asked me to come over and hang out with her instead. So my family went on the activity, so did hers, and I went over and we spent the afternoon hanging out with our newborns. She understood how hard it was for me, and was so compassionate about it.
During the next few months several things happened that just put me under a lot of stress, and I shared these things with Monica. One day she called me, and said “Out of all the things that have been happening to you lately, all the stress…what is the one thing that would send you over the edge right now?” I answered, “If I found out I was pregnant”. Without skipping a beat, she said proudly “Bingo!” Monica was pregnant. We laughed, we cried…and we laughed some more.
I was so sad to learn the Kivetts would be moving to North Carolina soon after Hannah was born. We promised we’d stay in touch, and I cried the day they moved. It was then that I decided that we needed to get the Internet, so I could email her. But what only seemed like a few weeks later I got from Jeannie Reynolds, one of Monica’s best friends. I will never forget the pit in my stomach. “Monica has cancer”. I called our Bishop, Dave Shumway, and the word spread quickly. Our temple night was that night, and so her name was put on the rolls. That night in the temple, as I entered the Celestial Room, I sat down in a corner, away from anyone who would or could see me, and I wept for a very long time. I prayed harder than I had in a long time too, and in my heart, I knew she could beat this. I just knew it.
The next day, Monica called. I broke down again. I feel bad about that now, because here she was, the one with cancer, and she had to comfort ME over the phone. We spoke several times in the next few weeks, and one conversation in particular, really stood out to me. She spoke of her children, and of the deep love she had for them. She told me that she didn’t want to die, and that she wasn’t ready to go yet. She explained to me how no one would ever love her children the way she loves them. I agreed with her. She was ready to do whatever it took to live, so that she could raise her kids.
As she began her treatments, it seemed that they were successful, and I felt so much hope for her. Her lungs were clearing up, it seemed. But then Jeannie called, and broke the second bad news, that the cancer had gone into her brain. She only had a few months left. I was devastated. Jeannie came over that day, sat at my kitchen table with me, and we cried together. It was the first time I’d ever really felt any kind of connection with Jeannie. She expressed to me that afternoon, how Monica had brought us together as friends. Our friendship has grown tremendously throughout the years, and she is one of my dearest friends today.
When I learned that the Kivetts had decided to move back to Mesa, I was initially nervous to see Monica. I knew she’d lost her hair, and had lost weight. I didn’t know how I would react, and wanted so badly to act normal. Jeannie brought her over, and we just cried and hugged, and actually laughed. But I could see in her eyes, something different. Although she didn’t want to be, she was so afraid of what was ahead. She fiercely didn’t want to leave her family behind, and it was hard to see her so vulnerable.
I went to see her at her parent’s home several times, and I tried so hard to just have small talk, but it was a new experience for me, and Monica was still so comforting to me in a time when I should have been comforting her. We had many great conversations, and I was so impressed with her faith, as it continued to grow. She really taught me a lot about trusting Heavenly Father.
One day in late November, while I was visiting, Stan came in to the room, and Monica expressed to him how she had a strong need to get to the temple. She was so week at this point, though, that she couldn’t go alone. She would need assistance even walking. Stan wanted to take her, but he couldn’t that day, so I asked if I could take her. She was so relieved that she was going to be able to go back to “Her Temple” as she called it that day. Even as ill as she was, after we finished our session and came back into the dressing room, she looked in the mirror and just started to laugh. I asked her what she was laughing at. “Look at me, Lisa. I look like a nun!” Because she had lost her hair, she wore a white scarf, and with her temple clothes on, she actually did look like a nun, all dressed in white. It was a very fun and light moment. As often as I’d gone to the temple, it meant something entirely different to me that day, and although I KNEW Monica could beat this cancer, I guess in hindsight, I also knew deep down, that she would be on the other side of the veil very soon. It was one of the most spiritual experiences I’ve ever had in the temple, and one of the most difficult experiences. I wonder now, if she knew it then too.
A few weeks later, about a month before she died, Monica called me. “Lisa”, she said, “Remember that day, when I told you that I didn’t want to die, because no one would ever love my children the way I did?” I told her yes, that I remembered. Then she said something so profound. “Lisa, I was wrong. I have had the rare opportunity, of watching the people around me have to take care of my children, because I can’t. And as I’ve watched my family and friends rally around, and care for my children, and serve them, I’ve realized something. You serve those you love, and you love those you serve. Lisa, my children will be ok.” I knew she was speaking truth, and we cried again on the phone that day. I knew then, that Monica was going to die. And my heart broke.
The last time I saw her, was the Sunday before she died. I’d gone over to visit, and she was so sick. She could barely speak, and was on oxygen. It took all her energy to even speak. There were other people there, and I almost felt like I was invading on some very precious time left with her family. I don’t remember specifically what I said to her as I left, but it was something like “I’ll see you next week, ok?” Stan called about 2 days later, and asked if I could take a day the following week and help Monica bathe, and take care of her. He was going to have to go back to work, and felt terrible that he couldn’t be there to care for her. I was so honored that he would ask me, and was grateful for the opportunity to serve her. But Jeannie called me that following Friday, I believe it was, and told me that Monica was going. Jeannie asked me if I wanted to come and see her, but I declined. Not that I was afraid. Just the opposite…I wanted so bad to see Monica one more time, but my gut said I should let her be with those she was closest to, and so I stayed home that night. I was lying on the couch, just watching TV, but not really, when I felt this powerful feeling overcome me, and I began to cry uncontrollably. I was overwhelmed with grief. A short time later, Jeannie called to say she was gone. I already knew.
I loved Monica. So much. But I wasn’t the only one…she had so many friends, good friends, and each one of us felt so special to her. As I said, she really taught me some things about life. I looked forward to any conversation I’d had with her, any time she would come over…I was lifted up by her. Her funeral was one of the most beautiful ones I’d ever been to, and still…it is today. I remember that it was mentioned at her funeral, either by Darryl Reynolds or Stan, I can’t remember….that this woman, a stay-at-home mom, who didn’t hold any big callings in or out of the church….just a stay-at-home mom…had the chapel and Cultural Hall and Stage packed for her funeral. Everyone loved her…everyone. And I felt so special, and so honored to have been able to be one of her friends, even if it was for such a short time on this earth.
To this day, Jeannie Reynolds will call me on my birthday, Oct 27, and sing a Marilyn Monroe version of “Happy Birthday” to me, and then on Oct 28, Jeannie’s birthday, I will call and sing back to her the same rendition. I guess it’s our way of always remembering Monica. She is unforgettable.
Thanks mom for continuing to influence my life, and especially for helping me know what is truly important. :)
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Must be a love/hate...
Holloween. Very mixed feelings about this so called holiday. First thoughts are 1. It tends to bring out the inner floozy in way too many women.... and 2. I personally find no joy in being scared. Things such as haunted houses, scary movies, etc. seem to go against everything that I believe in. Why would I want to invite negative feelings into my house, and myself if I want to live an uplifting life? This year I went on a double date with my husband and our good friends to a haunted house close to town. As I was walking through it I couldn't help but think of our eternal purpose here on earth and how this was literally mocking the things that I hold most important to me. I am probably being a little over dramatic, but it's just something I have had on my mind. :)
I do love it though because of tradition. Eating chili, getting a high from overdose of sugar, being around friends and family, seeing little kids in their costumes and watching them feel so proud about it :) coming home after trick or treating and putting your candy into piles- preparing to use your best bartering skills on your siblings, All these things are so fun! Last night Addison and I went to my parents house, and the kids had just gotten done trick or treating. They dumped their stuff and for some reason just started giving some of it away! They would ask, "who wants it?!" after they had decided they gave out enough I turned to my husband...His shirt was FULL of candy. I asked him how he got it all..his reply? "I just kept raising my hand!" haha I sure do love him.
He gave me a big wet one after he put chocolate all over his mouth...
The stash.
I do love it though because of tradition. Eating chili, getting a high from overdose of sugar, being around friends and family, seeing little kids in their costumes and watching them feel so proud about it :) coming home after trick or treating and putting your candy into piles- preparing to use your best bartering skills on your siblings, All these things are so fun! Last night Addison and I went to my parents house, and the kids had just gotten done trick or treating. They dumped their stuff and for some reason just started giving some of it away! They would ask, "who wants it?!" after they had decided they gave out enough I turned to my husband...His shirt was FULL of candy. I asked him how he got it all..his reply? "I just kept raising my hand!" haha I sure do love him.
He gave me a big wet one after he put chocolate all over his mouth...
The stash.
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